If you've been reading this blog, you will be aware that spiritual practice is an essential part of my life as I observe the state of the world and comment on it. I watched a powerful video recently in which Latoya Okela taught that the spiritual struggle comes down to fear v faith. And that fear is stronger than faith. Therefore, we must double down on our work to find absolute faith. (To define what I mean by "faith" is to complicated for this post. If you are interested go to my Buddhist website, noted below, and read some posts on faith. )
And we must find that faith within us, not just say to ourselves that we have faith. The latter has some value, but I can guarantee based on my own experience, that if there is a shred of doubt within you about your faith, that the mind will assert itself and take control.
Everything that we think, say, or do that causes us suffering is at its core a function of fear. Even insecurity, which I have written is at the core, is based on fear.
I must face it. You must face it. Everyone must face it. And the only way to finally overcome fear is through absolute faith. Without that faith, all effort to free oneself of fear by embracing it, having compassion for it, saying "Not me!" or any of the other means I have suggested in my posts will not work. Because some part of you, regardless how small, does not really believe in your faith and therefore your efforts lack the force of faith.
I have learned to be dispassionate in my reaction to things that had previously caused anxiety, nothing pushes my buttons, and I thought that meant fear was no longer there, but I realized one recent morning in my meditation that it is; it just doesn't express itself in the obvious way.
I have written several posts on faith in my Buddhist blog, www.thepracticalbuddhist.com, and they remain of value. But I have realized that there is a hole in the dyke of my faith. And it is because of that hole that I keep on experiencing situations in which my mind asserts itself and controls my actions, which I always am surprised at and share in my posts.
Usually I have dug deeper into my trauma and found something I hadn't been aware of before. But that's not the problem. The problem is the hole in my faith. Bach wrote a famous hymn, "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God." The same can be said of faith. But if your faith has a weak point, it will crumble and not protect you, just like a fortress that is built on a weak foundation.
So I need to work on making my faith absolute.
For that reason, this will be my last post for some time. Why? I have discovered that this blog and other writing of mine has been my mind's way of showing that I am right, that I have knowledge, and gaining the acknowledgment and respect of others. It is a craving of mine.
This is an example of the weakness of my faith. If it were absolute, I would not crave the acknowledgment of others. It would not be a driving force in almost everything that I do.
In one of my books, I said, after going through a list of suggested actions, "just do it." And that is the case here as well. And so I will stop feeding that craving until I find that my faith is absolute.
