Healing Our Nation, Healing Ourselves

In my recent post, “The Problem Isn’t Capitalism, It’s Our Society,” (October 8, 2015), I noted that the social problems in all modern societies (and most ancient ones, for that matter) don’t stem from their particular economic system, whether it’s capitalism or socialism or communism, regardless how much people rant and rave.  History has shown that changing the economic system does not change the basic nature of a society’s problems.  It typically just replaces one class of elite with another class of elite, one unequal structure with another unequal structure.

What then is the root cause of our societal problems?  And how do we make progress in solving these problems?

The root of our problems is that our society is not a community, meaning that it is not a culture in which everyone has a respected and valued role to play.  Instead, we feel that most people are not entitled to respect, that they have little value, that they are certainly not our equal, and that they do not deserve to be treated with dignity and kindness.  It is a culture of me/us v them.  This lack of community affects the family, the workplace, the smallest village, the state, the country, even the community of nations. 

That in a nutshell is the nature of the problem.  All the ills of our society … poverty, homelessness, workplace conflict, family conflict, civil strife, even war … stem from this basic lack of humanity in our interactions with others. 

Before proceeding further, it is important to clarify what I mean by a “lack of humanity.”  Humanity is defined by Webster’s as “being kind to other people and animals.”  Inhumanity, the opposite, is defined as “being cruel to others.”

In common usage, however, we have a much narrower concept of inhumanity.  For most of us, inhumanity implies a horrific act, a barbarous act, like the ISIS beheadings, or even the tortured conduct at Abu Ghraib during the Iraq War.  

But as the definition clearly states, anything that is cruel to others is an example of inhumanity.  And mind you, this is from Webster’s, not some religious or spiritual text.  Combining that definition with the definition of cruel: any behavior that causes physical or mental harm or pain is cruel and thus inhumane.  Before we can make progress in solving society’s problems, we must acknowledge and accept this definition.

Using this definition, acts that man endures at the hands of his fellow man - whether in war, civil conflict, or everyday life situations such as in the workplace or even within the family - that are hurtful and painful, that fail to respect others, their equality, and the right of all to live with freedom and dignity … all of these acts are examples of inhumanity.  Yes, even acts you might view as somewhat innocuous in the workplace or at home, if they cause mental harm, are examples of inhumanity.  Without question, discrimination and bigotry are examples of inhumanity.

Aware of this definition, one begins to realize that inhumanity is almost more the norm of human interaction than humanity.  Thus the efforts of those, there’s even a foundation, to promote “random acts of kindness.”  How sad.

How do we find a solution to this problem?  How do we bring humanity back into human interaction?

We begin by noting that while this is not a new problem peculiar to the modern age, it is not a function of human nature.  If we look at communal societies such as indigenous groups that still exist, or Native American communities before they were devastated and corrupted by the white man, we see communities in which everyone had their place, everyone was valued and respected, everyone felt secure even though, in the case of Native Americans, there was some private ownership.  

But when mankind moved from communal societies to societies based on the individual as the organizing unit, something significant was lost in the transition … a sense of security.  And it has gotten worse over the centuries as civilization/technology has “progressed” and we have become ever-more disconnected from people and more connected to material things.

But I do not believe that all is irretrievably lost.  True, I don’t think from a practical perspective that it’s possible to have a true communal society in a nation as large and complex as most modern nations.  But since I don’t think there is an inherent contradiction between a capitalist economy and a sense of community, the question becomes - how to create the feeling and advantages of community while still having an economy that has the individual unit and private ownership as its basis.

Since our society is based on the individual, not the commune, the answer will also have to be based on the individual.  If the goal is to change our society and the world, it will have to be done one person at a time.   Some leadership from authority figures and the culture would help, but ultimately it comes down to the individual.

As noted above, what was principally lost in the transition to an individual-oriented society was a feeling of security.  When people feel secure, they have the psychological ability to be kind to others and respect others.  To give of themselves for the benefit of others and for the common good.

On the other hand, when people feel insecure the natural psychological tendency is to protect oneself, which devolves into seeing others as a threat, creating a me/us v them dichotomy.  In that situation one is not kind to others and one does not give of oneself for the benefit of others.  But the damage caused by insecurity goes even deeper than that.  When we feel insecure, we do not offer even ourselves kindness and respect because we do not feel worthy.  There is no happiness in our heart.  Thus the current state of affairs.

I have written in previous posts how insecurity is the source of all of our problems.  See “The Root of All Abuse and Violence - Insecurity” (1/7/13) and “Insecurity as the Cause of Social Conflict and International War” (1/10/13).  

For some, or perhaps many, readers this will all sound like “new-age gobbledegook.”  But bear with me.

Since I am positing that the solution to our society’s problems lies with the individual, before going any further, I ask you to ask yourself a question:  “Am I happy?  Am I truly happy?”

If you can look deep inside yourself, past your ego, and answer that question, “yes,” then more power to you and you are ready to start, if you haven’t already, treating all people with kindness and respect.

Unfortunately, most of us cannot answer that question, “yes,”  because we are troubled, we feel conflicted.  We are insecure.  It’s not that we don’t experience moments of happiness, but do we feel deeply happy?  No.

This is true regardless of one’s status in life.  Many people think that once you’ve made it, have money, have power, that you’re home free and experience happiness.  But that is usually not the case.  Regardless how strong our ego, regardless how successful we are, we don’t experience true happiness because we are at bottom insecure beings.  We have never been taught to open our heart and embrace all aspects of ourselves.  

We have never been taught  that we have everything we need within ourselves to be at peace and experience happiness.  Instead we’ve been taught that we need to be what we aren’t or need to have what we don’t have.  And the higher we achieve or the more we obtain, the more it seems we obsess about retaining what we have and obtaining even more

This is what must change.  If one person learns to embrace himself and know that he has what he needs inside himself to be at peace and experience happiness, then he will not only change his own life, but the life of all those he  comes into contact with because he will now relate to those around him very differently … he will offer them joy, kindness, and respect.  The more who change, the greater the impact.

Now, it’s a well known fact that most people will not undertake change for the benefit of others.  No matter how often people swear to do this, it just doesn’t work.  Most people will only undertake change for their own benefit, and even that is very difficult, so strong are our habit-energies.

So here’s the next question I want to ask you.  Would you like to be truly, deeply happy?  Would you like to be free of feelings of insecurity?  Would you like not to obsess about what’s going to happen to you tomorrow?

If your answer is, “yes,” then read on.  Despite years of negative programming by family, peers, and the culture, this is more within your reach than you might think.

The process is quite straightforward.  But it does take a lot of work to achieve as you are changing the habits of a lifetime.  Here are the basic steps:

1.  Become aware that all your feelings about yourself and the world around you are a result of your learned experience.  Now, most people would say this is as it should be because that’s how we learn.  However, learning facts and learning judgmental values are two very different things.  

You may be familiar with the Rodgers and Hammerstein song from South Pacific that says, “you’ve got to be taught before it’s too late, before you are six, or seven. or eight, to hate all the people your relatives hate.”  Well, that basically is true for all feelings and perceptions.  Even everything we feel about ourselves is what we’ve been taught.  If you feel bad, or incompetent, or ugly, or the opposite, it’s what your family, your peers, and the culture has taught you.

None of these words describe who you and others really are; these are just labels we have been taught to apply.  They cover up the reality of people yet for most of us these labels are the only “I” and “them” that we know.  How many children are told over and over that they are bad or stupid?  How many are told that others, such as blacks, are dangerous, slow, and lazy?  And so these children come to identify themselves as bad or stupid and they identify others as dangerous, slow, and lazy with the harmful results that follow both for themselves and those around them.  How sad. 

The labels we apply to ourselves and others may just be just a product of the mind; it’s what we’ve been taught.  But they are no less powerful and cause us and them suffering.  It doesn’t matter whether the labels are pejorative or superlative, they cause suffering.

The oft-quoted serenity prayer says, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”  Those are truly words to live by.

We can’t change the way the world is.  But we can change how we relate to ourselves and to others … the labels that we automatically apply to everything we experience. That is totally within our control, difficult though it may be to part with habit-energies that have formed over a lifetime. When we stop applying labels and see ourselves and others as they truly are, not caricatures or stereotypes, a new world of possibilities opens up.

This is why Nina Simone wrote “To Be Young, Gifted, and Black.”  She wanted black children to hear that they are not stupid, but in fact gifted.  She wanted them to see their true selves.  Not the image placed on them by white society.

If you accept and acknowledge the truth of these statements, then you have made the first important step to in your own small way changing the world.

2.  Let your heart embrace all aspects of your being.  This is not something we are taught, either by family, peers, or the culture.  Quite the contrary.  We are made very aware of our faults, our failings, all the “negative” aspects of our character.  And so we learn not to love ourselves, not to respect ourselves; we are flawed, not worthy.  We become insecure.  We become very sensitive to perceived slights and wrongs and get angry or hurt, we tend to either withdraw or become an egomaniac.

Embracing all aspects of your being does not mean “indulge” yourself, giving yourself license to do things which may be harmful to yourself or others, but it does allow you to acknowledge these aspects of yourself and have compassion for yourself and for these tendencies, knowing that they are taught.  They are not you.

When we embrace ourselves fully we feel whole and so it removes the struggle, the internal battles, that tie us up and feed our anger, fear, and negativity.  Embracing these aspects of us greatly lessens their power. It may sound counter-intuitive, but when we, for example, fight our anger, try to rid ourselves of it, it actually strengthens our anger.  By embracing ourselves, these emotions instead sort of get smothered by love.  When we feel whole there is no reason to be angry. 

3.  Know that you have everything you need within yourself to experience peace and happiness.  Again, this is not what we’re taught by family, peers, or culture.  Just the opposite.  We are taught that we need all sorts of things … change who we are, how we look, obtain material things … in order to experience happiness.

But as in the first point, this is all stuff we are taught.  It is not a reflection of reality.  It is in fact by depending on things outside of ourselves for happiness that we are fated to experience endless disappointment, frustration, and psychological suffering.

This is not a refutation of John Locke’s famous poem, “No man is an island.”  It is not a call to isolate yourself and remove yourself from the world.  It is instead a call again to change how you relate to yourself and the world around you.

By not needing things, by not obsessing about things, by being able to say, “It’s great if it happens, but if it doesn’t that’s ok too,” the things we desire or want lose the power to frustrate us and cause us suffering.  It’s called non-attachment.

After becoming aware that all our feelings and perceptions are learned experience, a product of our mind, and not a reflection of our true selves … and after we allow our heart to embrace all aspects of ourselves … you will find that you become aware from within yourself, from your heart, that you have everything you need inside yourself to experience peace and happiness.

To summarize:  When you are aware that all your feelings and perceptions are taught, you will realize all the bull in our culture.  When you embrace all aspects of your being, you will find when you meet or even just observe others that you feel their suffering or joy, and you will feel compassion grow within yourself.  

When you know that you have everything you need inside yourself to experience peace and happiness, you will be able to go through your days without anything pushing your buttons.  You will be secure.  You will be aware of all things.  You will note the things that you can in some way change, but regarding those you can’t, you will be aware that things are the way they are because it’s just the way it is, your buttons will not be pushed, you will not obsess, you will not become agitated.

When you have reached this state, or even just begun the process of walking this path which is so different from the one you’ve followed in the past, you will find that you perform more and more random acts of kindness.  That you feel a sense of community with all people and have compassion for their state and suffering.  That you understand the value of all people, of all life, and that you respect all people.  

For you realize that people are the way they are and you are the way you are because it’s the way we’ve been taught to view ourselves and the world around us.  There are no evil people, just people who’ve been taught to do harmful things to others.  There are no failures, just people who have not been able to accomplish something that their learned experience drove them to do.  There are no lazy people, just people who’ve been beaten down all their lives by messages that they will not amount to anything.  There are no worthless people; everyone has something to contribute to society if given the opportunity; sometimes its intellect, sometimes its talent, sometimes it’s just a smile or their presence.  

And when you realize these things, you will support politicians who seek to change the fundamental nature of our culture, to create a sense of community, and to change the way we view government because so much of how people view themselves, respect themselves or don’t, feel they have opportunity or not, is a result of their interaction with government.  This is not an anti-wealth movement.  It is not an anti-business movement.  It is just a movement that says that everyone has their value and deserves to be treated with dignity and respect.  

The Declaration of Independence states that all people have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and that the purpose of government is to secure those rights.  So government action to improve educational opportunity, health care opportunity, job opportunity, and housing opportunity is necessary in order for all people to be able to truly experience life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, to experience dignity and respect.   

Lincoln stated that we are a democracy “of the people, by the people, and for the people.”  This implies both rights and responsibilities of citizenship.  Those who have been able to benefit from the system and gain wealth need to give their fair share to support the government’s efforts to provide all citizens with a meaningful equal opportunity to make more of their lives.  The wealthy will still be wealthy, but part of that wealth will now serve a meaningful function in the betterment of the common good.

Working Towards Equality, Freedom, and Dignity for All

In my post, “Creating a Safer World for Our Children,” 4/5/15, I noted that "it is conceivable that an organization of the major religions united to end the us v them mentality could be formed … an outgrowth, for example, of the Global Freedom Network … which would make a real difference." And so I sent the following open letter to the founding members of the Global Freedom Network, the signers of its Declaration to End Modern Slavery:

  Roman Catholic: His Holiness, Pope Francis

  Anglican:  Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby

  Hindu:  Her Holiness Mata Amritanandamayi

  Buddhist:  Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh

          The Most Ven. Datuk K. Sri Dhammaratana

  Jewish: Rabbi Dr. Abraham Skorka

      Chief Rabbi David Rosen

  Orthodox:  His All-Holiness Ecumenical Patriarch Martholomew

  Muslim:  Mohamed Ahmed El-Tayeb

         Grand Ayatollah Sheikh Basheer Hussain al Najafi

I applaud your recent declaration to end modern slavery by 2020 throughout the world and for all time.   While this is certainly an important undertaking, it unfortunately only scratches the surface of man’s inhumanity to man.  The world is rife with examples far more subtle than modern slavery that “fail to respect the fundamental conviction that all people are equal and have the same freedom and dignity.”

I am therefore writing you, and your co-signers, with a request that you all join together again and go further  … clearly stating to the world that the suffering that man has endured at the hands of his fellow man, whether in war, civil conflict, everyday life, or within the family must end because it too is caused by actions that fail to respect the equality of all, the right of all to live with freedom and dignity.  For the sake of the children of the world and future generations, this lack of respect for one another must end.  

We are all children of a single God.  Regardless what our religion (or non-religion), nationality, race, sex, ethnicity, or age, we are all one.  We may each have our own traditions, our own path to God or understanding the mysteries of the universe, but we are all nevertheless one.  We are all created by the same life force.  We are parents and children, but we are still one.  Whatever has come between us and drives us apart is learned and is not natural or according to God’s law.

While the suffering caused by war, civil conflict, and modern slavery is recognized by many as inhumanity, the suffering experienced by many within the family and as a part of everyday life is generally not considered inhumanity because it is not horrific.  Yet inhumanity it is … behavior that causes physical or mental harm or pain is cruel and thus by definition inhumane.

Within the family that should be a sanctuary of love and support, a refuge from the challenges faced in the world, it is instead far too common to find conflict, unkindness, disrespect, and cruelty between spouses, parents and children, and siblings.  How can children grow up to be whole, loving, secure people in such an environment?

Likewise the experience of discrimination and bias that many people face in everyday life is painful and cruel, the insidious remnant of age-old conflicts or animosities, including religious ones.  As with conflict within the family, these experiences often scar people psychologically for life.  And they rent the fabric of a nation and the family of man.

Any acts of inhumanity are not acceptable in a civilized society because people are thereby harmed.   

And so I ask that you join together again and vow to use your energies and your offices to teach the people of the world that we are indeed all one, and that every person should follow the maxim that is to be found in each of your religion’s heritage … to do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Any action that fosters a perception of us v them must end.  Whether between members of a family, or groups, or nations, treating each other with respect and as equals is God’s way.

With sincere respect and humility,  I am,

Hanh Niêm, Ronald L. Hirsch

Enc:  “Creating a Safer World for Our Children”

http://preservingamericanvalues.blogspot.com/2015_04_01_archive.html

Creating a Safer World for Our Children

There are many who think that the way to create a safer world for our children is to make sure that we have the strongest military force in the world, a strong police presence in our cities, and the right to carry a weapon in any setting.  In short, to make sure that we have the power to protect ourselves, whether offensively or defensively.

This point of view accepts as immutable fact that we live in a dangerous world.  There is nothing that can be done about it.  It is human nature. 

I would argue, however, that a world of danger is not an immutable fact; it is not an inherent aspect of human nature.  There is instead a different reason why the world is and has been filled with danger.  The sane way forward is not to arm ourselves to the teeth but to ask why there is so much danger lurking out there and what each of us as individuals, groups, and nations can do to make this truly a safer world for our children.

Man’s “inhumanity to man,” whether as physical violence or other forms of cruelty, is without question rife in our world at every level of human interaction … not just between nations or opposing groups, but within the family and in the workplace.  

Terrorist beheadings are a current example of what usually comes to mind when people think of man’s inhumanity.  The holocaust, Rwanda, various acts during wartime, slavery, and lynching are examples from the past often cited.  

But “inhumanity” goes beyond such horrific acts.  Actually more harmful, because more prevalent, are the insidious low level inhumanities that occur on a daily basis in every human setting.  

Lest the reader think I’m overstating the problem, note that inhumanity is generally defined as cruelty towards another.  And cruelty in turn is defined as: “behavior that causes physical or mental harm, pain, or suffering.”  Even an unkind remark can be cruel, regardless whether the intention was to inflict pain, although typically that is the case despite protests to the contrary.

Some may condone the idea of a just war between nations and the ensuing cruelties that inevitably result, but cruelty between members of a family, between individuals, or between members of different groups within a civilized nation should not be acceptable.  Why?  Besides the fact that it’s inhumane, such cruelty creates a world full of people with damaged psyches and, with regards to groups, also shreds the fabric of society.  This is unhealthy both for the society and the individual.

Why is cruelty so pervasive?  In two earlier posts, “The Root of All Abuse and Violence - Insecurity,”  and “Insecurity as the Cause of Social Conflict and International War,” I posited that the source of inhumanity lay with the insecurity that virtually all people suffer from, not as a fact of human nature but as a result of learned experience.  Working in concert with this insecurity is the perspective we are taught from an early age that the world is made up of us and them.  Whether the “us” is family, nationality, race, or whatever, we all are taught that this is a basic fact of life (see my post, “The Destructive Impact of Our Us v Them Perspective.”).

Clearly, there is ample evidence on the ground for people to develop an us v them perspective.  And there is ample reason to be insecure.  Indeed, these are both self-perpetuating states.  But if we continue to live according to these perspectives, we are condemned to living in a world of constant conflict and psychological suffering.

But how to stop this when almost everyone in the world is in the grip of these negative forces?  With regard to insecurity, in my book, Raising a Happy Child, I discuss how to stop the vicious cycle of insecure parents raising insecure children, who go on to become insecure parents …  It has to start in the home.  If parents are made aware of the issues and how these forces negatively impact both themselves and their children, I believe that many will choose to adopt the lessons set forth in the book in order to provide themselves and their children a better, happier life.

The same is true regarding the ubiquitous nature of the us v them perspective.  It is learned, just as insecurity is learned.  As the Rodgers and Hammerstein song from South Pacific goes, “You’ve got to be taught, before it’s too late, before you are six or seven or eight, to hate all the people your relatives hate, you’ve got to be carefully taught.”

It is up to us to stop teaching our children to view the world in this way.  In Raising a Happy Child, I posited that parents needed to step outside their insecure selves so that they could provide their children with the nurturing they needed in order to grow up feeling secure, regardless what they experienced in the larger world.  In the same way, parents need to step outside their own us v them perspective so that they can provide their children with a healthier perspective.

Because the us v them perspective has been fostered by virtually all authority forces in society, including and even especially the force of most organized religions, changing this paradigm of human behavior will be perhaps even more of a challenge than raising happy, secure children.  But we must try.  

And don’t say, “I’ll do it if they do it first.”  Because then we are doomed.  Each of you as parents and leaders must do what is right, regardless.  You must have the courage to take the first step.  It will bring you, your children, and your country no harm if you move forward, with eyes wide open.

Luckily, there is a different perspective at hand that would bring about a very different outcome from the conflict that we experience as endemic … that we are all one.  This is not some religious pablum or new age recreational-drug-induced nonsense.   This perspective is based on hard scientific fact.  Yes, it happens to be a major tenet of Buddhism, but I would note that Buddhist thought also foresaw the principles of quantum physics.

Let us begin with humans.  The most widely accepted theory of human evolution is that we all have a common ancestor in a single human in Africa roughly 60,000 - 200,000 years ago.  About 50,000 years ago, man began his migration out of Africa to the various parts of the planet, either replacing or interbreeding with other related species.  And the reset, as they say, is history.

We are thus in fact all one.   We may look different, speak different languages, have different customs, but we are all one in that we all descended from a common ancestor.

Another way of seeing the inherent oneness of us all is the immigration experience.  Not just individuals but waves of people from different cultures and races have moved to a new place, such as the United States.  Their children typically grow up to speak the language of their new home and adopt the culture of their new home.  They still look “different,” but are Americanized and become part of the fabric of our nation.  

If people were inherently different, this would not be possible.  If sometimes they don’t follow this pattern, it’s not because they are incapable of assimilating, it’s because they choose not to; they don’t want to become one. 

A famous quote from Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice also makes the point of our oneness, “If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?”  In all respects we are all one.

“Ah, but this is all irrelevant,” the reader may say.  “If someone is seeking to kill me or steal my possessions, it makes no difference if that person and I are biologically one.”   

True.  But the point is that if both you and that person were taught early on that you were both one and that there was nothing to fear from the other, and you treated each other with respect as equals, this person would most likely not be trying to kill you or steal your possessions.  We must start somewhere to change the historical dynamic.

Let me give a practical example, close to home, of the damage caused by the prevalent us v them perspective and the potential impact if we were taught that we are all one.  150 years after the Civil War, we are still a country deeply divided by race.  Despite all the laws on the books that guarantee equality, and despite the enormous progress made by many African-Americans especially over the last 50 years, there can be no question that we still live in a very unequal and divided society.  Whether one looks at education, housing, jobs, or income, the average black American is far below the average white American.  As a result, our country as a whole has suffered in many ways.

Why has this status continued?  While some responsibility must be taken by black Americans themselves, the overpowering factor is that white America does not view black Americans as one with them.  They may be American citizens, they may fight our wars, they may go to school with us, but they are felt to be different; they are not one with us; they are not equal.  And so the inhumanity of the treatment of black Americans at the hands of white America … collectively … continues.  

If, however, white and black Americans were taught that we are all one, backed up by real changes on the ground … and this is not accomplished simply by integration … this inequality would end within a generation.   Black Americans would then indeed have equal opportunity in education, housing, and  jobs and income equality would improve because both institutional and individual discrimination would end.

In looking at history and current events, as well as our personal experience, one sees that whenever a people/nation, a group, a person, or a member of a family feels that they are not shown respect or treated as an equal, they will in whatever manner they can usually rise up against those who they feel are treating them in this manner.  

Whether looking at the troubles in the Mideast, or the plethora of ethnic, racial, and sectarian conflicts around the world, both past and present, while they are typically viewed as being power struggles … which in one sense they obviously are … they are really about one side, or both, feeling that they have not been treated with respect or as equals.  Those are the real issues; if they had been treated with respect and as equals, there would be no power issues.  Power issues arise from inequality, whether on the part of the victim or those who seek to maintain the status quo.  

When one thinks of the conflict so often found within families, whether between spouses, between parents and children, or between siblings, the feeling of not being treated with respect or as an equal is again the core grievance.  One may talk about sibling rivalry or adolescent rebellion or whatever, but it all comes down to this rather straight-forward analysis.

So we have ample proof of what happens when we do not follow the lesson that we are all one, and instead see the world as us v them.  The benefits I claim for the opposite approach are I must admit only conjectural as the world has not seen a “we are all one” philosophy in place at any time.  But I have no doubt.  

But even if one agrees with my position, one cannot ignore the question of how one gets from where we are to where we want to be.  I noted above that the change needs to start in the home and spread outwards.  I don’t think such change could come top down from the political establishment because any political leader advocating such a policy now would never get elected, or if in office would find himself suddenly without support; the powers that be would be too threatened.  However, it is conceivable that an organization of the major religions united to end the us v them mentality could be formed … an outgrowth, for example, of the Global Freedom Network … which would make a real difference.

Such a change, except within the intimate setting of the family, would involve a transition period that would undoubtedly be tricky and full of obstacles, but if the intention was clear and honest and there was open communication, the world could be a very different place within a generation or less.  A reader might ask, “Doesn’t the failure of the United Nations prove that this type of approach doesn’t work?”  I would respond that the UN has failed, other than getting nations to talk, precisely because its creation did not challenge the underlying assumption of us v them.  There is almost nothing “united” about the United Nations. 

But Planet Earth is not solely the province of man.  Whether one believes in God or the natural force of evolution, Earth is home to a host of animals, plants, and inanimate objects to which the concept that we are all one also applies.  As does the importance of adopting that perspective regarding them in order to create a safer world for our children, for how we treat these other participants of the earth’s ecosystem has profound implications for the future.

Animals are sentient beings, just as man is.  Indeed, it is accepted scientific fact that humans evolved from the animal world, specifically apes.  Animals may not have the brain capacity of man, but they have the same senses as man has.  One could indeed apply the passage quoted above from Shakespeare to animals.  

But what has man done?  Man considers animals as lesser beings, put there by God for humans to eat, and so millions of animals are killed, and not just killed but severely abused in the raising process, to satisfy man’s desires.  Further untold numbers of animals are abused in ways that have nothing to do with the food chain.

"But how," the reader may well ask, "does this make the world less safe for our children?"  The most immediate and practical answer is that the raising of millions upon millions of animals for slaughter requires the diversion of huge amounts of vegetable nutrients to this process.  Since raising animals is a very inefficient use of these nutrients … the amount consumed v the amount produced … the world would have a greater food supply if all vegetable nutrients were available to man.  

As the earth’s population increases, this becomes an ever more pressing issue.  And ending this practice would not harm man in any way as studies show consistently that vegetarians are healthier than meat eaters.

As for plants, they may not be sentient beings, but they are highly-evolved living organisms.  In fact, they are in many ways more highly evolved than man.  Through the process of photosynthesis, they take the elements of sunlight and water and create the nutrients that man and animals need to survive.  And plants are at one with humans because we are all formed from the same basic atomic/molecular structure of matter.

“Are you going to argue now that inanimate objects … rocks, water, oil, air … are also one with man?” a reader may skeptically ask.  That answer is of course, yes.  Again, they are composed of the same basic atomic/molecular structure as man and are part of the evolutionary process that ultimately produced man.  The molecule, composed of atoms, is the common building block from which every thing on this Earth is composed.

As with animals, man has treated plants and inanimate objects as being put there by God for man’s use and benefit.  That is in part true, as everything has an important role to play in the ecosystem.  But how to make such use is the question.  While native cultures, such as Native Americans, killed animals and ate meat, they had a very different relationship to animals, plants, and inanimate objects than modern man.  To them, all were part of a spiritual world and that brought an attitude of respect towards all parts of the eco-system.  Things were used only as needed; nothing was abused.

The results of man’s abuse of the natural world, both plant and mineral, are becoming more abundantly clear with each passing decade.  We have polluted the very source of life … the air and water … and have put in motion a change in the atmosphere which is bringing about a change in climate that has the potential to devastate our way of life and the safe future of our children.

If there is a God, this would certainly be a time for him or her to make itself known to mankind in an unmistakable way and to warn us with all of its power that we must change our ways or be doomed.  Short of that, it depends on us mere mortals to right the wrongs of our abuse of each other and everything else on this Earth and start living by the maxim that we are all one.  We owe it to our children.

The Destructive Impact of Our Us v Them Perspective

During this holiday season, I think it timely to address a fundamental problem in the development of human societies ... the us v them mentality.  People band together in groups ... whether formally or informally ... because they feel something in common and want to be part of a group, not alone, often to increase their security.  Unfortunately, most groups form their identity by differentiating themselves from others which quickly transforms into us v them, competition, and often conflict.  

We see the world as made up of some people like us, and a mass of people not like us who would exercise power over us to our disadvantage if they had the ability.  The impact of this dynamic is not surprising. And it has been the basis for the development of human societies for millennia, if not from the beginning of man.

Since all mankind ... regardless our race, color, religion, nationality ... descended from a common ancestor in Africa, how did this come to be?  It is probably a safe bet that the first society was a communal one, but at some point, someone in the group wasn’t happy and split off and formed another group, and then competition for resources began and conflict began.  You have the same pattern in animal societies ... they are communal within the group but often fiercely territorial and aggressive towards other like groups.

Although man has a brain and can think, as he has advanced technologically his basic brain patterns have not altered at all.  Man is today working with the same brain that first evolved 100,000 years ago.  And so he still sees himself in an inevitable security/conflict mode.

How sad, because we are all children of the universe, of God.  Regardless whether your higher power is a God responsive to prayer, a moral force or an amoral force, the divinity within you, or the force of the universe which has brought forth the miracle of the world and its species – we all are literally children of the same God, we all stem from an original source.

And we all have something else in common ... the suffering of mankind is universal.  There is no one, regardless how rich or how poor, who does not suffer because we are all afflicted with feelings of insecurity.

What a different world it would be if everyone felt that everyone else in the world was one with them and vice versa.  How different it would be if we followed the moral prescription of all religions to do unto others as you have them do unto you.  What if we gaged our every action by the impact it would have on others, and if others were in any way harmed we would cease or alter our actions?

There would be no war, there would be no poverty, there would be no lack of access to \quality education or quality medical care.  There would still be people who were richer or poorer, but the extent of inequality would be greatly reduced.

Who do I blame most for this continuing cancer on the soul of humanity?  The world’s major religions.  They are the force that has perpetuated more us v them feeling and violent conflict than any other force over the millennia.  Even when the conflict wasn’t religious, they have stepped up to support their nation states or communities in aggressive actions against others.

Yet the major religions are the principle holders of moral authority in the world.  They could, with a united voice, change this dynamic or at least begin the process of changing the dynamic.  They should be able to rise above their claims to exclusivity and embrace the equality of all religions as well as those who profess no religion..

I know that this will never happen.  Historical forces and our habit-energies would overwhelm any attempt to change this societal dynamic.  Nevertheless, this is what the world needs and I pray that a voice, or voices, rise to proclaim this truth and further peace on earth.

Insecurity as the Cause of Social Conflict and International War.

In my previous post, I addressed the problems caused by widespread insecurity ... abuse and violence in personal relationships and in social interactions, as well as much unhappiness and stress even without those particular outcomes.  But insecurity also plays a major role in the larger issues of social conflict and international war.

For hundreds if not thousands of years, there has been a divide in most societies between the haves and the have-nots.  Whether we look at the English nobility, or the WASP establishment in the United States prior to 1960, Southern whites, or the caste system in India, the haves put in place a system which protected their interests and kept “others” or the masses from having the power to be a threat.  

The reader might look at these leaders of society and say that they were immensely secure; that this is not an example of insecurity causing conflict.  But I would argue that they were only secure because they had put in place these systems, which they did out of insecurity and fear.  They were at some level afraid of “others” or the masses gaining power.

The English nobility put in place a system where there was little upward mobility, and then only to a certain point.  The English class system ... which was the gate into good schools and good jobs ... was firmly in place until after WWII; many would say it still is.  Politically, even after election reforms in the 1800s which gave a political voice to men who either owned or rented property worth a certain amount, the House of Lords, which was the province of the nobility, had the power to veto what they didn’t like until 1911.  

In the United States, the WASP establishment until around 1960 had a pretty exclusive grip on all handles of power.   Whether someone was Jewish or Catholic, let alone black, all “others” were excluded from the seats of real power, for example, WASP law firms, country clubs, and private clubs.  Representative politics provided a path to elected status for many of the “others,” but real power was reserved for members of the WASP establishment until well after WWII.

In the South, whites from the highest to the lowest socio-economic groups put in place and violently supported a system in which blacks had no rights, or what rights they had were systematically denied them.  The language may have been one of superiority and security, but here more than in the other instances I discuss, the fear of losing control was always close to the surface and apparent.

Today in the United States, while we live in a very egalitarian society in many respects and there are many laws protecting the equality of people, discrimination based on fear and insecurity is still a major issue.  Much has been written, for example, about the vehemence of the Tea Party’s and Far Right’s attitude towards President Obama as being in large part based on their fear of blacks’, and other people of color, gaining more social and political power as the majority status of whites in this country begins to fade away, an opinion with which I agree.

And this is not just a Western phenomenon. For example, the caste system in India, which until relatively recently was very rigid and still causes many problems, especially for those formerly labeled “untouchables,” was an ancient system devised to keep everyone in their place and protect those with power from those below them.

As to the issue of international war, the issue of insecurity is more visible.  Virtually all alliances and wars have been an effort to make countries feel secure against the threat of enemies, real or imagined.  Even the strong have constantly been worried about attacks on their hegemony.  And understandably so.

Obviously, in the larger social context and international relationships, the problem is not directly that children, spouses, and others are not loved unconditionally.  However, the basic dynamic resulting from this which impacts interpersonal relationships ... a feeling of insecurity, of not feeling safe, of needing to project strength to counter such feelings ... directly impacts  actions in the larger social and world arenas.  If those in positions of power felt love towards and from all, then there would be no need for both the national and international systems that have ultimately caused much suffering in the world.

If everyone were raised with unconditional love, listened to deeply, and spoken to with loving kindness, then man would not grow up to be the way man is now and has been for millenia, at least in so-called “advanced” societies.  

So far I have discussed the impact of man’s insecurity vis a vis others and its impact on his relationship with other individuals or groups.  Another major aspect of man’s insecurity that has affected the course of human development has been his insecurity vis a vis nature, read broadly.  It is this insecurity that resulted in the development of religion, from the earliest to the current leading religions.  

Man formed religions to answer questions of why nature and other aspects of life are the way they are, and most importantly to provide a way for man to impact their course, whether through sacrifice in ancient times or through modern prayer.  And since religion was formed in answer to man’s insecurity, it is not surprising that it was made to serve his other insecurities, whether it was providing a respectable foundation for the continued practice of slavery or lending its authority to a country’s going to war against enemies.  Far from being the bringer of peace and understanding, religion has thus been the hand-maiden of war and untold human suffering.

And so, the book I’ve written which has just been published, Raising a Happy Child, is relevant regarding these larger issues as well.  It is available through www.ThePracticalBuddhist.com. as well as through the major online retailers and your local bookstore by special order.  While based on Buddhist principles, the lessons it contains are applicable regardless of ones religious affiliation.  For more information about the book as well as the Table of Contents and sample text, go to the website.